Why I'm Awesome (Part 25 of 7,412): NAÏVETÉ

This post is brought to you by an unnerving lack of jetlag.

Some recent events have brought to light something that I've known for a long time but never openly owned up to: I am an unbelievably naïve person. More often than not, I find myself trusting others with little to no question, always giving the benefit of the doubt. This is, in fact, part of the reason why I am a very open person, as I generally assume people are not out to get me. Naturally, this can sometimes get me into trouble.

I can get screwed over. I can be lied to. I can be deceived. I can be misled. I can be made to look like an absolute fool. I can be ridiculed. If I wanted to be melodramatic, it could also one day put me in a dangerous position. There’s a lot of bad things that could potentially maybe sort of one day possibly happen. I know it. Some nasty things have happened as a result of it. But I also know that this is true of basically any other kind of personality trait one can possess, and it comes down with how I as an individual choose to handle it.

I don’t have a problem admitting that I am very naïve, that I am too trusting. More to the point, I don’t have an issue with staying that way. But why, if I am well aware of the risks involved, or if I’ve already gone through the downsides thus associated?

My answer is simple: I know that if proverbial shit should hit the equally fictitious fan, I can take care of myself. It's easy to give the benefit of the doubt until the person actually gives you a real reason not to trust them. It's better than taking the chance that I may insult, hurt, or vilify someone else's intentions just because I was being paranoid.

Sure, there may be tears or shouts or pouts or even punches thrown for a little bit if things come up tails when I called heads, but I am a strong enough person that I know that once tensions have cooled, I’ll be fine. I bounce back quickly, efficiently, and with as little impact on those around me as possible. It’s in fact why it’s so important for me to have someone around who knows to let me vent and not try to stop me in the middle of a tirade of emotional release. I need someone who knows that once it’s out of my system, the next step is for me to recover on my own and get over it and move on. I am lucky, then, to have so many of those people in my life.

I often find myself feeling sorry for those who are always suspicious of others or are always afraid to trust and thereby potentially get hurt. I know it sounds elitist of me, but that is truly how I feel and usually I respond to such personalities by being someone they know they can trust.

The fact of the matter is that you’re going to get hurt. It’s part of life. It will happen regardless of what kinds of measures you take to prevent it, if any at all. It can be intentional. It may be unintentional. Sure you can have your guard up, as past experiences should always be learned from, but at the same time, you can’t always assume people are out to get you, either, otherwise you just end up inadvertently hurting those who meant no harm. What you can do is let those shitty experiences make you a stronger and better person.

Is your definition of strength being self-reliant and not needing anyone else, and that’s how you justify your mistrust? If yes, then we shall agree to disagree. Strength, to me, is to know how the people around you are able to support and help you while you yourself find your own way to solve the problem or resolve the conflict and learn from what happened so that it doesn’t happen again. It’s a mix of self-sufficiency and humility (i.e., knowing that there are some things you just don’t have to do alone, nor should you).

So for every nasty thing that happens to be as a result of my naïveté, I at least know how to read the signs a little better than before. That said, I know I may still be naïve and fall into easy traps, but I’m all right with that. I don’t learn from my mistakes as easily or as efficiently as I probably should, but I deal with it by knowing that no matter what, I’ll be just fine and I will likely come out of it a stronger person.