Why I'm Awesome (Part 3 of 7,412): BITCHES

My family is why I'm awesome, but apparently not everyone seems to think so. It has recently come to my attention that some people think that my mother is a bad mother. These people are, allegedly, expatriate mothers who live in Beijing and whose kids attend international schools in the city (not unlike the one from which I graduated).

While I was advised by my very wise and mature sister to just "let it go" because our mother doesn't give a rat's ass what these people think, it's been burning a rather large hole in my confrontational, too-large brain.

Let me fill you in on exactly why they think my mother is a bad mother. Ready?

BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T FOLLOW MY SISTER OR ME TO COLLEGE.

When my sister told me this I did a very loud "wait, WHAT" into the phone that I think scared my neighbors.

Excuse me, holier-than-thou judgmental floosies who spend all their time shopping while their husbands work and their ayis do all the cleaning…when was going to college with your kids the mark of good motherhood? Because I'll tell you what…it sounds like the mark of good apron-strings-getting-a-bit-tight-around-that-neck-there-hood.

Yeah. You wanna judge MY family? Here's a little of your own fucking medicine.

If my mother went with me to college (which basically means she moves into the city I'm studying in and lives there…or that she visits me every damned month or something), you know what? Then I WOULD call her a bad mother because she won't GIVE ME MY GODDAMN SPACE.

Seriously. Is this mentality prevalent? Because it would drive me up the fucking wall if my mother lived in the same area as me while I was studying abroad for college. That's where you learn to take care of yourself, to be independent…not to mention participate in certain activities that mommy and daddy just don't ever need to know about.

I went overseas to do something for myself, and I did it all on my own, and the feeling that I know I did it on my own is priceless. Are you really going to rob your own children of that feeling of self-accomplishment?

So Beijing expat mothers, while you ladies have your kids living in your basements at age 30 because they never learned to feed themselves or pay their own rent, or leeching off of husbands to survive…I will be living on my own somewhere in the world, emotionally stable and independent, and I will fly my mother out to visit me wherever I am, or I will visit her wherever she is, and it will be a kickass time because she will know that every accomplishment I ever managed to pull off was thanks to her.

My mother knew when to let go. Just because you don't know when to do the same does not make her a bad mother and hand to god if I ever hear of anyone ever telling her so again you are going to hear from me.

In the meantime, I pity your kids, because they probably hate you for always being in their space and not letting them go and live their own goddamn lives, free of your coddling and stifling and selfishness.

Let them the fuck go. God. It's no wonder there are so many pussy momma's boy men running around nowadays.

To wrap up, let me reiterate.

To any mother that thinks my mom is a bad mother: here's a giant FUCK YOU, keep your judgmental bullshit to yourself. My sister and I turned out fantastic. Why? Because instead of worrying about how OTHER parents raised THEIR kids, our mother worried only about raising HER OWN kids to the best of her ability.

Which I imagine is far superior to anything a whiny little expat wife can manage when all she's gonna do is sit around and act like a self-righteous bitch.

Fuck you.